Relentless Love

I know we aren't supposed to have favorites, but I do. His name is Andress or Angel. He goes by both. When I first met him he was sitting all alone playing with a truck at the orphanage. I felt the Spirit telling me to be his friend, and so I pursued him. In only a few moments, I loved this little boy, like he was my own. So today when we arrived at the orphanage all these children ran to greet us. Kids were jumping into the arms of my teammates and my eyes were searching for Andress. I finally saw him and went to embrace him and he ran away. I thought, oh he wants to play. So I ran up to him and tickled him and he would get upset and walk away. Oh the pain in my heart! It was breaking. The I heard the Lord remind me that I am the same way. How often does He come to embrace me and I choose to go the other way.  Later on I saw him sitting with one of the guys and playing trucks with another boy his age. Andress was searching for love and attention from my friend. I wouldn't say that my friend was ignoring him, but he wasn't giving him the attention I would. I even saw Andress put a marble in his mouth, and he didn't stop him. I wanted to cry out, don't you see I love you, I want the best for you. You will always have my attention. The Lord again spoke to me, you spend your time chasing other idols, why won't you spend time with me? You waste your time doing things that will eventually do more harm them good. Why do you not enjoy your time with me. I ultimately satisfy. Finally, it was time for us to leave and I wanted to tell him goodbye. He covered his face, like he was hiding from me, and as soon as I could embrace him he ran. The Lord once again reminded me, stop running from your sin, my child. You can not run. Hidding from your sin is no laughing matter, it is not a game.

I left ministry really saddened that afternoon, but oh so grateful for what the Lord had taught me. I left ministry with these lyrics running through my mind:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure    

I think my love for Andress is deep, but the love of God is so much deeper. I chose to love Andress. Just like the Lord has chosen me. Just like Andress has run from me, I too have run from the Lord. Just like I was jealous when Andress choose to love someone else, the Lord is jealous when I love the things of this world. Oh how grateful I am that His love is relentless and that it will never give up on me.

Hosea on Human Trafficking

As some of you know, the Lord has given me a heart for victims of human trafficking-the women and children forced into prostitution. So this verse really spoke to me on their behalf, "I will not punish your daughters when they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery; for the men themselves go aside with prostitutes and sacrifice with cult prostitutes, and a people without understanding shall come to ruin." (4:14). What a huge responsibility men have, and while there are several men striving for godliness, there are so many more that are lost and are abusing women all over the world. Let's look at Thailand.  In Thai culture it is the responsibility of the female children to provide for their parents when they decide to retire. Well, in the villages of Thailand most Thai men are extremely lazy, drunkards, and womanizers. The young girls are pressured by their culture to provide for their families and since they have no education they go to the city to do the only job they are offered-bar girl. If their fathers took responsibility their daughters would not have to live in such darkness, with so much shame, guilt, and depression. Their fathers take their sons to see the prostitutes and "become a man" and they either don't see, or don't recognize that it is their daughters that are being abused and used. It's not just the Thai men that go to prostitutes; Thailand is known for sex tourism. Men from Europe, Australia, and North America travel to Thailand for the sole purpose of buying sex. These acts only bring you to ruin! The lust is satisfied for only a moment and will return. Repent and turn to the True Lover of your soul. Leviticus 19:29 also says something about this matter, " Do not profane your daughter by making her a prostitute, lest the land fall into prostitution and the land become full of depravity." The Thais have made their daughters prostitutes, and their land is very much depraved. I have seen it, I am mourning it, and I am living in anticipation to see the Lord redeem it.

In conclusion I have learned that it is silly and it really doesn't make any sense to follow the idols of the heart. Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it?" My heart truly is deceitful, which is why I need to look to the Lord and not to my heart. Israel was so lost in their idol worship, that they had forgotten their purpose-that they were chosen to be set apart so that they could point the nations to God. Instead they were "swallowed up; already they are among the nations as a useless vessel" (Hos. 8:8). This to me is one of the saddest things about our sin. When we are so caught up in it we are useless. We all have a purpose in life and that is to know the Lord and to seek Him and to do His will which is to make disciples of all nations. We cannot do that if we are wandering away from him and following the things of this world. So now "it is time to seek the Lord, that He may come and rain righteousness upon you" (Hos. 10:12b).

I Am a Prostitute?

I have been reading the book of Hosea, and I would like to share with you a little of what the Lord has been teaching me. For those of you who are not familiar with Hosea here is a very brief background on the book. Hosea was a prophet. The first Word Hosea had from the Lord was to marry a prostitute, and to have a family with her. Their marriage would be a way that the Lord would use to communicate to the Israelites how He saw their relationship.

First, the Lord has shown me just how deceitful and whorish my heart really is. Let's just take a look at some verses from chapter two:"Plead with your mother, plead-for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband- that she put away her whoring from her face...For she said, 'I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil, and my drink'... She shall pursue her lovers but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but shall not find them. Then she shall say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now'" (vs 2a, 5b). The Lord was asking Hosea to plead with the Israelites to turn from their "lovers" and return to Him. The Lord was to be their husband and they were committing adultery with the things of this world. I remember in college thinking that the Israelites were so very dumb. I mean, the God of the universe had proven faithful so many times and they had seen His miracles first hand, and yet they were so prone to wonder from Him. Then I read vs. 5 and I realized I am just as dumb as they are. How many times have I put my comfort in my job knowing that from it I could provide bread and water for my sustenance, when I have seen how the Lord has provided when I had no job? How many times have I checked my bank account only to be anxious or relieved, when my Husband owns everything, and has already "blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the Heavenly realms" (Ephesians 1:3)? Lately, I have been so lost yearning for a relationship that I have neglected to spend time with the One that my soul was created for. Oh Lord, I repent for not trusting in You, for worrying over trivial matters when You are the Sovereign God over all things. Lord, forgive my forgetfulness and I thank you that You are drawing me back to You. I am so thankful that You have not allowed my lovers to overtake me, but that You have. Thank you for not letting go and giving up on me. Thank you that you take me back, that You have allowed me to see the error of my ways.

Secondly, the Lord has taught me exactly how much my sin cost him. In chapter three of Hosea we find out that Gomer, Hosea's wife, went back to work in prostitution. So he went and "bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley" (vs. 2). What does that mean? It cost Hosea 5.82 ounces of silver and 330 liters of barley. The fact that he had to use to different currencies shows us just how dearly it cost him to buy her back. It was not cheap for Hosea to buy back his wife. Being a prophet wasn't exactly the highest paid job in the B.C. days.  Now, Hosea buying Gomer back was just a picture of what the Lord would do for His people. He would buy them back at great price—at the cost of the blood of His Son. Whoa.

(to be continued)