“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26
Upon first reading this verse my thoughts are, "Wow, Jesus, that's some pretty harsh language you're using." I've heard many times from pastors and leaders that what Jesus means in this verse is that we are to love God more than our friends, families, etc; that it looks like hate to the world. So growing up I thought that applying this verse was just loving God the most. Okay. Done. Check. I love you, God. But now, as I'm going through deep struggles in Thailand I get it. Loving God, being obedient to God, sometimes really does look like hate in the eyes of the world. Sometimes when I'm overseas I forget that life still goes in the America. Dear friends who I have known for over a decade get married, and because I'm in Thailand, I won't be able to attend this joyous day in their lives, which could be perceived as a lack of love for them. Good friends are bringing life into the world, and my heart wants to be there for them, and rejoice with them, and throw showers for them. But I can't, it may look like I "hate" them because I'm not there. I love my family so much. So when I hear of how they are battling with sickness and disease, oh how I want to be there with them. And to think that it can look like hate that I'm not there, in their darkest hours is so painful. It's during times like these when I want to get mad at the Lord. Why is this going on? Why am I missing out? Why can I not be there? And it's when I am still in his presence when I am reminded of our Lord and Savior. He left His perfect home in Paradise, took on flesh, and lived among sinful men. Men who would spit on Him, curse Him, beat Him, and murder Him in the most horrific way possible. He allowed them to do those things, so that by His death we may have life. That is true sacrifice. That is why I am His disciple. No matter the cost. And the cost is much. But it comes nowhere near the cost He paid. So I dry my eyes over my loss, and I turn to the Sovereign King and trust Him to care for my family.
I trust Him to be their joy. I trust Him.
I trust Him to be their joy. I trust Him.
I want to close with a song that has been very encouraging, and that just so happened to be playing as I wrote this.
